– NOW OPEN FOR A LIMITED TIME –
Healing the Past to Heal the Present
A Special LIVE 5-Week Online Training Program
with Terry Real
“Family pathology rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods, taking down everything in its path, until one person in one generation, has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to his ancestors and spares the children that follow.”
– Terry Real
A Personal Letter from Terry Real
I am excited to release an all-new course on healing multi-generational trauma.
We’ve all encountered this phenomenon: grandfather was a rager; mother married a rager; a young rager is then raised in turn. And this pattern continues until a child is born who faces the flames and puts an end to it.
I have a word for such a person. I call them a hero.
Every generation has its own story and its own injuries. If the pain stopped there, it would be the end of the tale. Sometimes it does work like that. But often it doesn’t. Pain is transmitted from one generation to the next, and to the one beyond that, and so on while the cycle repeats itself. And as we now know from Epigenetics, this legacy of trauma gets into our very DNA.
As therapists, we can help our clients rise to the hero’s task, and put an end to such a painful transference.
As a young family therapist, I was schooled in the concept of multi-generational projection. I’d read about cross-generational projected material in the work of two of the founders of family therapy, Murray Bowen and Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy.
But it wasn’t until I encountered the work of one of my mentors, Pia Mellody, that I came to realize that the mechanism of the projection itself, the actual spark of transmission, came through trauma – whether dis-empowering or falsely empowering, whether intrusive and violating, or walled off and abandoning. It might be a family belief, like strangers are out to get you. It might be a self-image that you’re ugly or stupid. It might be a way of handling yourself in the world, a relational stance. The material that comes into us as legacy, as images, beliefs, ways of being, that molds the adaptive child parts of us, and for many determines the quality of our lives and relationships: all of this comes to us, enters into us, and shapes us through trauma.
This is what we’ll focus on in the course. We’ll look at the unique way that Relational Life Therapy (RLT) addresses the topic of multi-generational projection. We will teach you, the therapist, to develop the techniques and tools needed to help your clients break the cycle.
RLT offers a powerful, comprehensive method and framework for effectively sifting through the legacy our clients are handed. We help them keep what they deem as positive and worthy, and put to rest those aspects that must stop with them. As the old AA saying goes, “Pass it back, or pass it on.”
There’s something I like to say as this work takes hold. I say, “health is busting out all over.” Our work goes beyond individuals. Our work goes beyond marriages, even families.
In our live sessions and in interviews with experts, we will look beyond the individual to explore three perspectives on the urgent topic of collective healing for collective trauma.
In this special five-week training, we’ll meet together weekly for live calls. I will also play video excerpts of real client sessions, illustrating both theory and technique. In addition, I’ve invited an all-star team of guest experts to provide a multi-disciplinary approach to multi-generational trauma.
This is the first time I have taught a course on multi-generational trauma, and I’m so excited to pass this training on to you. I hope you’ll join me in doing this crucial work.
Founder, Relational Life Institute and Best-Selling Author
P.S. This course will only open for a short time because these will be LIVE teachings and discussion so I encourage you to sign up to join me!
Multi-generational Trauma: The Hidden Factor for Deep Healing
“Hurt people hurt people.”
– Alcoholics Anonymous Proverb
When a person is traumatized, they can’t help but blame the past, even while they inflict trauma on their own children. It’s not always the same flavor of trauma, so the nature of the transmission can be elusive.
This is what family therapy calls multi-generational projection.
There is an old family therapy saying, “It takes three generations to heal.” The first generation inflicts the trauma, the next generation gets into recovery, and hopefully the third generation is spared. It moves from infliction to healing to release
It is our task as therapists to help each client, both men and women, heal themselves. But even more, we must give them the strength and aspiration to act as a breakwall that protects the next generation. It takes true heroism to hold back the waves of one’s own trauma so that the pain ends there, and the family’s legacy is released.
If we don’t give our clients this strength, the multi-generational trauma flows on and on, an endless river of hurt and pain.
Bringing this pattern to an end is the heroic work of our clients. As therapists, we have the unique privilege of witnessing and supporting this supremely valuable human work.
A Unique Relational Life Therapy Approach
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) has a unique approach to working with Multi-generational Trauma from an interpersonal perspective.
In traditional trauma therapy, the healing most often occurs between the patient and the therapist. The therapist provides the supportive matrix, and the work occurs in the therapy room.
In RLT all trauma is relational trauma. And the cure for trauma is always a relational cure.
In RLT, we can coach an individual, but we prefer to see individuals in their context. We look at marriage, families, and socioeconomic circumstances like race and gender.
Let me give you a story:
I’m working with a 30-year-old man, single, and his widowed mother. He’d lost his father at age 12, and has been his mother’s emotional caretaker and surrogate spouse ever since. As his therapist, my goal is to have the mother help him resign from being her caretaker, releasing him to have a family of his own. As we know, trauma survivors are often very loyal.
In one session, I take the mother back a generation to her relationship with her father, who was critical, distant, cold, and rejecting. She’s been desperately trying to get her son’s approval to make up for the approval she didn’t get from her own father. Using psychodramatic techniques, I have the son roleplay his grandfather. And in a scene the mother constructs and directs, I have the son give his mother the approval she never received from him. Roleplaying her father, the son looks deep in his mother’s eyes and says, “I am so proud of you.” Both mother and son begin weeping.
When the psychodrama is over, I ask the mother if she feels able to take care of herself enough to release her son and give him her blessing to have a life of his own. And in role play, she offers that blessing, and her parents offer that blessing to the son.
He starts dating a few weeks later.
As this story illustrates, we set up corrective experiences between our client and their own loved ones, not just between the client and the therapist.
The Multi-generational Trauma Training Curriculum
Many of us feel competent doing trauma work, and many feel competent doing couples and family work. What we’re talking about here is playing jazz — doing all this work at the same time.
In this course, I will demonstrate how to take your client’s present relationship difficulties with themselves and others as a starting point. Identifying these current themes, we trace back a few generations (typically one or two) and discover the seeds or genetic coding of this family trauma. We restore what was missing generations ago and bring that healing forward into the present, integrating the person’s present relationships, and transform the person and their family at the same time.
Broadening the focus from the individual to the family, this course will include teaching & showing roleplay, experiential trauma techniques, inner child work, and psychodrama techniques to facilitate healing in multiple generations in the present moment.
The Five Live Sessions are described below.
SESSION 1: The Idea of Multi-generational Healing
Our training starts off with a powerful videotaped excerpt from a session I did with a South Dakota farmer and his twenty-something year old suicidal son. I recently recovered this 30-year-old session, and it’s a great illustration of how to use psychodrama techniques to unearth, articulate, and heal multigenerational grief and trauma.
SESSION 2: The Forging of the Adaptive Child
The adaptive child part of us is like a battery that stores highly charged emotional states and the multi-generational energy that, in Dick Schwartz’s language (IFS), is burdened by beliefs about itself and the world. The adaptive child part of us is always an amalgam of what we took in from and how we reacted to the system around us. And like a battery, the adaptive child part of us often discharges some version of the same emotional energy that had been discharged onto them. In this session, we will explore both the recipient and the perpetrator of multi-generational transmission: our adaptive children. inner child work will be illustrated by a brief, true clinical vignette followed by discussion.
SESSION 3: When Trauma Infiltrates Your Marriage
In this session, you will be introduced to Roland and Judy, a courageous pair facing down together the consequences of at least three generations of war trauma. You will see me use multigenerational material in order to further reconnecting the blatant and joining through the truth effectively. Special attention will be paid to issues of gender and the therapeutic use of self.
SESSION 4: Broadening Our Understanding of Trauma
Have you ever encountered a client who swears he’s from the world’s most perfect family? Sometimes that’s true, but more often the client is thinking about trauma too narrowly, as do we as a field. When most of us think of trauma, we think of one type of trauma. In this session we will explore that type plus another three, along with the unique mechanisms by which they’re transmitted and specific approaches to treat the consequences of each.
SESSION 5: The Sheer Disloyalty of Growing Up
Topics we will explore this week include understanding loyalty and sorting out who you belong to. We will look at establishing a boundary of primacy in the present to deal with family members now. Blood deals with blood and keeping parents, “spiritual company” – daring to emigrate. Then we will end with collective trauma and collective repair: treating whole peoples via the work of Jack Saul and then collective trauma and spiritual repair through the work of Thomas Huebl.
Healing the Past to Heal the Present
A Special LIVE 5-Week Online Training Program
with Terry Real
Here’s What You’ll Receive…
#1) A 5-Week LIVE and Interactive Training with Terry Real
For 5-weeks YOU will be joining Terry on a call designed to take you through the Relational Life Therapy approach to Multi-generational Trauma. By the end of the training, you will have a clear path to work with this in your therapy practices including specific concepts, frameworks, techniques, practical exercises, and case studies that can guide your way.
#2) Complete audio downloads of all sessions for lifetime access
Every Live training will be recorded and available in video and audio formats so you’ll be able to download and own all the content. So if you want to watch the trainings over and over or you miss one of the live trainings, you’ll be able to watch at your leisure.
#3) Multi-generational Trauma Private Facebook Group
Our Private Facebook Group will connect you with a worldwide community of like-minded people to discuss the course material, share experiences, as well as give and receive support. This is where you can post questions for guidance.
PLUS You’ll Receive these FIVE Special
Expert Training Session Bonuses
Dick Schwartz, Founder of Center for Self Leadership and Creator of Internal Family Systems
Expert Training Session #1
TOPIC: Healing Legacy Burdens: IFS model for Working Multi-Generational Trauma
Richard Schwartz began his career as a family therapist and an academic at the University of Illinois at Chicago. There he discovered that family therapy alone did not achieve full symptom relief and in asking patients why, he learned that they were plagued by what they called “parts.” These patients became his teachers as they described how their parts formed networks of inner relationship that resembled the families he had been working with. He also found that as they focused on and, thereby, separated from their parts, they would shift into a state characterized by qualities like curiosity, calm, confidence and compassion. He called that inner essence the Self and was amazed to find it even in severely diagnosed and traumatized patients. From these explorations the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model was born in the early 1980s.
IFS is now evidence-based and has become a widely-used form of psychotherapy, particularly with trauma. It provides a non-pathologizing, optimistic, and empowering perspective and a practical and effective set of techniques for working with individuals, couples, families, and more recently, corporations and classrooms.
Thomas Huebl, Founder, Academy of Inner Science
Expert Training Session #2
TOPIC: Collective Healing of Collective Trauma: Holocaust Healing in Germany and Israel
Thomas Hübl is a modern mystic, a spiritual teacher whose work integrates the core insights of the great wisdom traditions with the discoveries of contemporary science, illuminating both with his profound understanding. Thomas’s teachings offer a unique approach for living as a mystic in the “marketplace” of human activity. His work combines somatic awareness practices, advanced meditative practices, a sophisticated analysis of cultural architecture, and transformational processes that address trauma and shadow issues.
His teachings aim to guide practitioners toward a deeper level of self-awareness—from an ego-centered worldview to a life of authentic expression, service, and alignment. Since 2004 Thomas has been leading workshops, multi-year training programs, and larger events and festivals. A sought-after private advisor to social entrepreneurs, business leaders, government officials, and spiritual aspirants, Thomas is a regularly featured speaker at conferences and workshops worldwide.
Jack Saul, PhD, Director of the International Trauma Studies Program
Expert Training Session #3
TOPIC: Collective Trauma, Collective Healing: Promoting Community Resilience in the Aftermath of Disaster
Jack Saul, Ph.D. is a New York State licensed psychologist and family therapist providing therapeutic services for individuals, couples, and families in Manhattan. He is is the director of the International Trauma Studies Program (ITSP), a research and training institute based in New York City. ITSP is committed to enhancing the natural resilience and coping capacities in individuals, families, and communities that have endured and/or are threatened by traumatic events – domestic and political violence, armed conflict and natural disaster.
He works internationally with reporters and photographers on covering war and survivors of severe human rights violations and with humanitarian, legal, and media organizations on the development and implementation of staff welfare programs. He completed his doctoral degree at Boston University and clinical internship in child and family therapy at the Judge Baker Guidance Clinic, Harvard Medical School. His book Collective Trauma, Collective Healing: Promoting Community Resilience in the Aftermath of Disaster was published by Routledge in July, 2013.
Janina Fisher, PhD, Psychotherapist, Consultant, Trainer
Expert Training Session #4
TOPIC: Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors
Janina Fisher, PhD is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Instructor at the Trauma Center, an outpatient clinic and research center founded by Bessel van der Kolk. Known for her expertise as both a therapist and consultant, she is also past President of the New England Society for the Treatment of Trauma and Dissociation, an EMDR International Association Credit Provider, a faculty member of the Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute, and a former Instructor, Harvard Medical School.
Dr. Fisher has been an invited speaker at the Cape Cod Institute, Harvard Medical School Conference Series, the EMDR International Association Annual Conference, University of Wisconsin, University of Westminster in London, the Psychotraumatology Institute of Europe, and the Esalen Institute. Dr. Fisher lectures and teaches nationally and internationally on topics related to the integration of research and treatment and how to introduce these newer trauma treatment paradigms in traditional therapeutic approaches.
Rabbi Tirzah Firestone, PhD
Expert Training Session #5
TOPIC: Wounds into Wisdom: Healing Intergenerational Jewish Trauma
Rabbi Tirzah Firestone, PhD, is an author, Jungian psychotherapist, and founding rabbi of Congregation Nevei Kodesh in Boulder, Colorado. Ordained by Rabbi Zalman Schachter Shalomi in 1992, she is a leader in the international Jewish Renewal Movement and a renowned Jewish scholar and teacher.
Tirzah earned a masters degree in counseling at Beacon College in Boston, Massachusetts in 1982, and a doctorate in depth psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California in 2015. Her cutting edge research on the impact and healing of collective trauma draws on the fields of neuroscience, psychology, Jewish literature and mythopoesis. Her groundbreaking work called Wounds Into Wisdom: Healing Intergenerational Trauma (Monkfish, 2019) employs interviews, case studies, and her own autobiographical narratives to demonstrate how trauma residue passes from generation to generation and how it can be transformed. In 2019, upon the release of Wounds into Wisdom, Tirzah will be touring the US and facilitating workshops on intergenerational trauma healing.
“The son needs to remember what the father wishes to forget.”
– Yiddish Proverb
Here’s an Overview of What You’ll Receive
in the Multi-generational Trauma Healing Program
1. Five Weekly LIVE online calls Terry Real that include Question & Answer Sessions
2. Transcripts and lifetime access to all the calls and a private membership site to download all the calls and recordings
3. A Private Facebook Group Community to interact with the community
FIVE Expert Training Sessions with a focus
on Multi-generational Trauma with:
1. Dick Schwartz, Founder of Center for Self Leadership – Healing Legacy Burdens: IFS model for Working Multi-Generational Trauma
2. Jack Saul, PhD – Collective Trauma, Collective Healing: Promoting Community Resilience in the Aftermath of Disaster
3. Thomas Huebl, Founder, Academy of Inner Science – Collective Healing of Collective Trauma
4. Janina Fisher, PhD – Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors
5. Rabbi Tirzah Firestone, PhD – Wounds into Wisdom: Healing Intergenerational Jewish Trauma
5 CE Units Available for purchase after the final class. See full CE info
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I’m confident you’ll be happy with Multi-Generational Trauma. However, if you are not 100% satisfied with your purchase, simply contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org within 21 days and we’ll give you a full refund, no questions asked. Thank you, Terry Real
Will I be able to ask questions during the program and is it interactive?
YES! You are encouraged to participate in the calls. My aim is to make this as interactive and personal as possible….to be in relationship with you and the entire group.
All calls will be live and you’ll have opportunities to ask questions (time permitting). You can also post questions in our private Facebook Community in advance and I will pick the cases and topics that seem the most relevant to help the entire group.
What time are the live calls?
The call schedule is (all at 11am ET):
Session 1: April 17
Session 2: April 24
Session 3: May 1
Session 4: May 8
Session 5: May 15th
What if I miss a session or I can’t make the time?
I know that there will be times that you can’t make it, so all of the calls will be recorded and you’ll be able to download them forever on a private membership site. This will also be useful for some sessions that you will want to listen to more than once.
I value your time, so each call will be an hour long.
Is this course approved for Continuing Education Credits?
Only when offered LIVE. No credits at this time.
About Terry Real
Terry Real is the bestselling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women, and most recently The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work. Terry knows how to lead couples on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy—and greater personal fulfillment. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents as well as a professional training program for clinicians.
Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”