Blogs

Talking with my Father about Trauma

A skinny twenty-seven-year old, I pull a thick afghan onto my lap and ask my father to tell me about his childhood. He begins with the usual maneuvers: he adopts surliness, then he jokes, evades. By this time I am armed with the fledgling skills of a young therapist....

“The Best Men Can Be”

On January 13th, Gillette released its already famous commercial, “The Best Men Can Be,” which garnered an immediate and emphatic backlash. The commercial juxtaposed men engaging in bullying behaviors with men performing acts of decency. The nerve the ad hit is...

How to Bring a Reluctant Man Back for a Second Session

In RLT, we have seven diagnostic lenses for looking at a really precise description of what is going on and what you're going to feed back to the couple. One of the seven lenses, which in some ways is the skeleton of the whole therapy, is stance, stance, and dance. In...

Why a Class on How to Engage Men?

 Let's talk about how to engage men. I'll be referring to some of my notes because this is a little technical. First of all, why am I even giving a class on how to engage men? How many of you have ever entered a lecture entitled how to engage women? Why is engaging...

Narcissism and Grandiosity

Narcissism and Grandiosity

Listen to the podcast on LOVELINK Terry Real:          Imagine if you woke up and one day your hand just had a life of its own. You're on the subway and your hands starts groping other people. You'd be really, really enraged at your hand because it's just not obeying...

Patriarchy Now Webinar Replay

Thank you to everyone who has stepped forward to engage in this dynamic topic with me through your emails, questions, and listening in for the live call. We had an excellent discussion today, and I’d like to share the recording for those who were not able to make it....

How Not to Hate Your Husband (from Jancee Dunn)

From How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn “Get Off Your Ass and Help Out!” Our Encounter with the Man from Boston There is this amazing guy from Boston. You have this long, excruciating session with him where he drills down to your problems really...

What’s the “Love/Lust Split” We See So Often?

What’s the “Love/Lust Split” We See So Often?

How can we therapists help heal what Esther Perel calls the “Love/Lust split” we see so often? As therapists, we’ve seen over and over that while couples, as I say, tend to do in the bedroom what they do in every other room, sex cannot be faked. All too often, fears,...

Seven Tips to Great Sex

Seven Tips to Great Sex

written by Dr. Dan Pollets (originally published in August 2008) Great Sex In a Nutshell…. Great sex starts with the awareness of sensation and allowing oneself to sink into the “mindful experience of physical and emotional intimacy.” It is about being present in and...

About Terry Real

Terry Real is an internationally recognized Family Therapist, Speaker and Author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI), offering workshops for couples, individuals and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology. A family therapist and teacher . . . more

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