Why has couple’s therapy for the most part been useless? What do I need to do to feel heard, to help my husband (partner) get more connected? In HOW CAN I GET THROUGH TO YOU: Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women (Fireside Books; A Simon & Schuster Trade) Terry Real offers this and more radically innovative advice:
• Develop “Relational Esteem” – cherish the relationship, despite its glaring imperfections
• Speak “Relationally” – tell the truth with savvy and respect
• Listen “Relationally” – move past right and wrong toward repair
• Negotiate: learn to stand firm and mean it
• Develop “Relational Integrity” – make a commitment to stay moderate and smart even when your partner behaves like a jerk.